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What Makes a Good Mentor, and Where to Find OneI want to explain to you what makes a good mentor, but first let’s define the term “Mentor” and talk about how you can find one. Mentors are key people you meet who can effectively make or break your career. A mentor is someone in your occupational, religious, academic and/or or cultural community who can provide you with both practical and emotional support including letters of recommendation, further contacts, helpful volunteer leads and possibly a hot job lead. Without the help of mentors, it's that much harder to break into a new career and build the confidence and know-how that leads to success. Your relationship with a mentor or “mentorship” could be formal or informal in nature and typically develops slowly into a longer-term professional relationship through further in-person meetings on a monthly or perhaps quarterly basis – whatever works best for you and your mentor. Sometimes your boss or co-worker - past or present - could also end up becoming your mentor. Some social service programs in various cities also offer mentoring match-ups to help people with their networking and to more quickly settle into their professional field. A mentor is generally but not always someone significantly older than you. Perhaps you’ve already met one or more mentors. Be open to meeting a new mentor – of either gender, of any race, any walk of life – who can give you their undivided attention, support your career aspirations, and teach you the career lessons that your parents, uncles, aunts and siblings couldn’t. Finding a knowledgeable and supportive mentor of either gender and of any walk of life can greatly enhance your job search strategy. Find someone who has “been there and done that” already and can show you how to do it in a shorter and easier way than they did :-). Volunteering, information interviews, co-op placements and practice firms are some great ways to meet people who could eventually become your mentor. You may also develop a mentor relationship with a current or previous supervisor or boss, or a trusted older person who is a long-time friend or acquaintance of your family. To complicate matters further, mentors often “pop up” when you’re not looking for them. :-) The key is to recognize them be open to meeting them when you come across them. I’m going to explain what makes a good mentor or the characteristics of a good mentor by providing you with some real-life examples from my career. My need for male mentors in my life stemmed from my family relations. My father and I often had strained relations, as well as very different career interests. He was a salesman – first of industrial products, and later life insurance whereas I was more interested in the intangible things in life and ended up in social work. My mother was able to provide me with a lot of information and support because she had always remained active as a volunteer and social advocate within her community. But I didn’t have any support from the males in my life including my father as well as uncles, brothers and two older siblings. None of them had pursued careers in any way similar to social work. So I to some degree lacked the career guidance I needed to be successful. As a result, I naturally wanted to connect with other older males who were already working in my chosen profession, to ask them questions and learn how they earned their success in life. Many mentors have crossed paths with me since my early 20’s and even from my public school days. 6 mentors in particular have played a key role in assisting me with crucial aspects of my career development and related personal growth. Once I decided upon my career path in social work I met my first of many male mentors to whom I now owe a debt of gratitude: Dan Andreae. Dan and I met at a local gym in 1989 where we struck up a friendly and enthusiastic conversation about career. I shared with Dan that I was currently studying sociology and interested in pursuing a career in social work. Dan explained that he already worked as a social worker and was involved in lobbying the government for stronger professional status for social workers in our province. He offered me a volunteer position with his lobby group. Dan “took me under his wing” shortly after I started volunteering for him, taking time to discuss in some detail the social work profession and provide me with emotional support as I found my way. He also offered me a part-time paid job later that Fall. When I eventually did apply to social work school, Dan’s helpful suggestions for my written statement to the selection committee along with a strong and very detailed letter of recommendation undoubtedly helped me to gain admission to grad school in my first attempt. Thank you very much, Dan! :-) Mentor relationships often last many years, decades, even a lifetime. On the other hand, they can also be very short yet still rather powerful, as can happen in an informational interview. Such was the case when I met Ben Hoffman. Ben Hoffman is a world-renowned expert who has worked with former U.S. President Jimmy Carter as an expert in the field of alternate dispute resolution (ADR) and fostering world peace. I was fortunate enough to meet Ben in 1992 in an earlier stage of his career. As a social work placement student in my first of two years of graduate study, I attended a 2-day cultural sensitivity workshop in Ottawa, Canada’s capital. Before my boss approved my trip from Toronto, I had come across a book written by Ben about ADR which had stated that he lived in Ottawa and included a phone number. I was fascinated with the whole idea of ADR at the time, and wanted to speak directly with leaders in the field. Hopeful, but not knowing for sure whether it would work, I decided to call Ben at his office during my first day in Ottawa. I spoke with his secretary, who after a brief conversation with Ben provided me with an appointment for the next day in the early afternoon. Here I was, a complete stranger, and yet Ben was willing to see me and encourage me further in my career aspirations. I spoke with Ben for only a few minutes – a few minutes that I’ve never forgotten to this day. Ben didn’t say anything particularly special to me. He didn’t tell me any secrets or drop any names. He simply offered me his undivided attention and gently encouraged me to further explore the field of mediation. Ben gave me a copy of a new book he’d written. In his autograph he wrote, “In order to succeed in this field, you will need to be a pioneer.” As it turned out, I chose a different career path within the field of social work: Policy development. But I still feel inspired by my brief meeting with Ben and the way he encouraged me. He will always be one of my mentors. Thank you Ben for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with me! :-). Don Simmons – My first social work volunteer supervisor. Don supervised my weekly running of a ping pong club for residents and outpatients of a local mental health centre. Don gently encouraged me, and also cautioned me that I needed to learn to protect myself against burnout and “over-giving” if I was going to be successful in clinical social work (counselling and working one-on-one with clients). Joe Spoerl was a Ph.D. student who showed enormous commitment and dedication to teaching an under-graduate university class I attended in 1988 titled “Philosophy of Religion.” David Hulchanski was a social work professor who supervised my “design thesis” work and strongly encouraged me to pursue my Ph.D. in social work (which I didn’t – at least not yet). :-) And finally, going back into the distant past: The late Mr. Brian Bailey, my grade 4 teacher. Mr. Bailey encouraged me in all subjects, taught me to play chess by staying late after school, believed in me in a consistent and wholehearted way and helped me to start to develop true self-confidence. Thank you Mr. Bailey!
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